Shugetsu Life Path Musings

I realize that the question about which discipline to pursue goes much deeper than liking or disliking the personalities and affects of meditators versus scientists. The question is likewise not a speculative one regarding whether it’s possible to do science and be a happy and fulfilled human being? Although they’re not the norm, there are happy researchers out there, including ones whose work I admire and whose company I’d be willing to keep.

The fundamental question is “what do I want to be,” and the answer is “you become what you cultivate.” My favorite saying these days is, “if you keep on doing what you’ve been doing, you’ll keep on getting what you’ve been getting.” The scientific mode of inquiry is both extremely powerful and fundamentally limited. Having worked within it, I have some sense of the habits of mind it feeds, and I realize I’m not interested in cultivating that approach to reality. I support others in doing this work, but I also feel that I would know by now if I was deeply drawn to science. The fact of the matter is, I don’t yearn to do research, so speculating about being able to hold the philosophical dichotomy is moot.

Meanwhile, a day without practice is unthinkable. Everywhere there are beings who, just like me, want only to be happy. In every moment, another breath and another opportunity for awareness. I could bring this to a lab, but I’d much rather address psychological suffering, my own included, in a direct and applied manner. With my background, I’m able to evaluate data (there were some very suspcious error bars and y-axes as the meeting, by the way…).